Pregnancy = stupidity

Living proof that pregnancy damages your brain:
I arrived home and picked up my blackberry to log on to work remotely.
I lost my blackerry.
I searched for it everywhere. Everywhere. Nearly called IT to cancel it.
I had to send an email from my personal account to my boss with the work which was due.
3 hours later my husband finds a blackberry in the loo.

Men

One of the wonderful things that has happened to me since I told people I was pregnant, was the reaction of my male colleagues and clients. Some of my clients know better than me how far along I am ( i mean they know the week!). Some others have put delivery alarms on their smart phones for C's push date.

And then there are those comments:

- "Oh thats wonderful news. One piece of advice, have a planned c-section"

- " Have you decided if you are gonna have natural or a scheduled c-section? My advice - c-section all the way, we were too posh to push"

- " Oh this weekend i tripped on a step and it was horrible, so much pain, pain like I've never experienced before. Pain like you will know in a few months time"

- (this one from my husband, when i feel cramps cos the baby is stepping on some body part of mine which therefore refuses to move - like a hip or something) - "trust me, i know exactly how you feel" (if you were wondering on the answer it involved and F and an Off and it was not Fudge OFF!

And so on and so on....

An in this context i found this pearl on Youtube and I had to share it....

Pregnancy is....

Trying to reboot your IMAC 3 times because you have a cd stuck inside which doesn't come out.
Then proceed to read a series of group postings on Apple on how to remove stuck cds from media drive.
Then grab the coffee next to the keyboard by your right hand side, and realise the CD is there, by your left hand side, the whole time. The media drive was empty.....

Glowing pregnancy my ass

It beats the crap out of me why people seem to associate pregnancy with glow. There is nothing glowy like in pregnancy.

Today, after 12 years together, i had to get my husband to literally - and I mean quite literally - carry me out of bed. I woke up in excruciating pain with muscle cramps in my legs. I could not move the legs and i was too sleepy to explain what was going on. So this guy has to deal with a shouting woman at 6 am, who has her legs bent at 45 degrees and cannot move them in either direction and is screaming - and yeah, it was screaming - in pain. Took me over half an hour to be able to stand. He had to extend my legs and put them on the floor, and take my arms and lift me. Crucially this happens when i have an early call with a very important client - which i clearly did not make it to the office on time to do, and had to do from home. Thankfully the client has 5 kids and they were all shouting in the background ( it was past dinner time for them), and thankfully as well my cats were fairly quiet in my house.

Yesterday i was dying to go to the loo for a wee-wee. By the time i made it to the loo and peeled all the layers i had to be able to reach my ass and sit on the freaking loo, I swear to God I was to tired to pee. And then  - yes and then - i had to put all this crap back again so that I could walk back to my desk and resume working.

"Ah, but the joy of having children", some men say. My ass, I say. You should be able to buy them off the shelf at two years old, already potty trained. Want a kid? go carry it yourself, men. Thats what i wish to you all....